Truly happy

(c) C. Holister

So, when was the last time you felt really happy? A little dialogue on happiness and insanity … and clowns.

They do tell me I’m mad. Ever since the funeral.

The costume thing.

I guess they considered it inappropriate.

Well, you could have taken it off.

She always liked clowns.

You could take it off now …

Did you ever feel truly happy?

What do you mean ‘happy’?

I mean happy for the moment like everything is just blissful and beautiful for one second. And it’s just this second you don’t want to be anywhere else in the world but in that very place. And you don’t think of the next second when everything could be over. Like a child …

I’m afraid not.

Sad. Mad. Guess, I’m better off than you.

Do you think they’re right?

I don’t care if they are. You know, some people are afraid of losing their sanity. Losing touch with the world. But I’m not.

So, you do consider yourself insane?

I consider myself happy at this moment. Even if I was mad, even if I lost my ground, standing here, far from the world …

… on a rooftop, wearing a clown costume.

If she could have just seen me there the other day.

Maybe she has. Maybe she can see you now.

I don’t think so. No, she cannot. No more. … Now I feel sad. I should take this off, go back to the ground, back to the world like all the others. Do you think they would find this to be appropriate?

I definitely think they would. Will you hand me that gun now?

Will it make you happy?


If I go back down?


Live my life like before?

Yes, yes, it will!

But how would you know?


C. Holister (c) 2018

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